Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Psalm 34:15

Psalm 34:15. "The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry."

It is comforting to know that the Lord is always with us, in all times, in good and bad. He hears us cry for help and sends us what we need to get through.

My chemo went well on Monday even though it was a bit difficult at first. I have labs before chemo and this results in the nurse having to use another vein instead of the one that I like her to use. It really hurts when they use the one closest to my hand, the nurse says that there is not much fat on the wrist. ( I said to her that this is the only spot on my body that is not fat!!) I almost fainted for the first time ever... when the needle went in. I will try to have the nurse in the lab use another vein next week so that chemo will go better.

I am noticing that after I have radiation that my side aches, I am taking this to mean that this is good. I am feeling really good, otherwise.

Thank you for all your prayers and support.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Psalm 119:105

Psalm 119:105. "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

The battles that we go through in life can be a dark time, but God's word is a light to our path. We learn to walk by faith and to trust that His words are truth and apply to us in all situations. The more we trust, the more we see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is not really dark after all.

This week has gone really well. I have been to Mayo every day for radiation treatments. It is not hard, and takes minutes. The machine is set to radiate from 4 different positions, and is on for only seconds. I am in and out in no time at all. One of the biggest side effects can be fatigue, so far...none. I have chemo on Mondays and I do not anticipate having any problems. Again, this is hard to believe because I have asked if this chemo is easy to tolerate and I have been told that most people do not tolerate it well. All I know is that I thank God each time I have a procedure done, whether chemo or radiation, and He protects me and gives me great hope. What more can I ask?

Thank you for your prayers!!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Ephesians 6:10-12

Ephesians 6:10-12. "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

Yesterday reminded me that I have let my guard down against spiritual forces that would love me to loose my faith. When this happens, it actually makes me stronger. Yes, I can get down and feel overwhelmed but this happens when I try to do it with my strength, but when I rely on the strength of the Lord, I know that He stands in front of me and becomes my armor. The above verse goes on to say that we are to put on the brestplate of righteousness, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the helment of salvation, and we carry the shield of faith, which is the word of God, and the sword of the Spirit. This is why we are to read God's word, and put it to memory, so that when trouble comes...and it will....we have the whold armor of God to withstand all the schemes of the devil. My former pastor said many times that this was the most misunderstood verse in the bible. People that do not know the Lord would think that this is a cosmic type of Star Wars, not realizing that this is the truth. Satan is real and should be taken as such, but God is much bigger and has all of this figured out. We must keep the end in mind, knowing that Jesus will return and Satan will be defeated, but knowing the end, we know that this has already happened.

My chemo went very good yesterday. I have no nausea which is likely to happen, but I have been spared this in the past, and hopefully in the future. I start radiation for real today.
The doctors visit went really good as well. I told her about the surgeon and the fact that I was not pleased with him. She said that she would speak to the head of chemo to ask what we can do. She was not overly concerned about the lump in my cheek because there are no lypmh nodes in the cheek, but she will find out what we can do if it does not change. The small spot on the CAT scan will be used as a marker for the next scan. They can track it and will look for any changes next time.

Thank you for your prayer support.

Monday, April 21, 2008

A note for the following blog

As I reread my blog posting for today, I need to make a note because part of my sentence was deleted in the paragraph about my surgeon.  I met with  him last week and I do not care for him at all, but as I have said, he is probably brilliant, but has zero compassion.  Anyway, I hope this will make sense as you read my blog.

I Peter 5:6-9

I Peter 5:6-9.  "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.  Be sober-minded; be watchful.  Your adversary the devil prowls around seeking someone to devour.  Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."

I need your prayers today.  I was beginning to feel spiritually weak today until I reached out to my sister, who reminded me that I am almost at the end of my final journey to health that the Lord assured me would come.  I stopped doing the things that kept me spiritually strong.  I stopped asking for prayer and was not praying for myself.   I have allowed  doubt to come into my thoughts.  I have also become weary of the doctors appointments and the waiting As I have said to others, he is probably brilliant, but on our meeting the first thing out his mouth was,  "Are you aware that you could loose a kidney as a result of this operation?"  Then he went on to a laundry list of bad things that COULD happen.  I don't want someone like him talking to my family or to me if something should happen.....maybe he is wonderful, but I am asking for another surgeon and will only keep him if the comes highly recommended.  This was probably the beginning of my doubt, but all the other doctors have been encouraging, I need my surgeon to also be the same. I meet with a counter-part to Dr Parapatti today and will ask her what we can do about this.

Today is the beginning of the road to surgery that started with a "dry run" of my radiology appointment.  I start tomorrow with the real thing that will last daily (monday-friday) for 5 weeks.  I also start chemo today, appointment is at 4:30, which will be once a week, I think for 5 weeks also.

Another doubt for my health is a lump in my mouth which I noticed a few days ago.  Maybe I bit my inner cheek, but when you have cancer, everything is a worry.  I also was told that I have a very very small spot on my lung which could be nothing as well.  I have a lot of questions for the doctor today but the most important thing that I can request of anyone reading this blog is to pray for me.  

The devil is absolutely looking for someone to devour, but he cannot touch those who are lifted up in prayer, so I need your prayers, and thank you for standing in the gap for me.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Deuteronomy 7:9

Deuteronomy 7:9. "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,"

Have you ever wondered who prayed for you before you were born, or who was faithful generations before you were born? I pray for my children's children, even though they have not been born, although Britt (Benjamin and Dierdre's new baby will be born in August) has not been born, I pray for him. God is faithful to the generations that come after us. I feel so blessed to know this, and feel that I am living a wonderful life because of my faithful ansestors.

I met with my new cardiologist yesterday, Dr Farouk Mookadam, whose speciality is the fluid around the heart. He wants to see another heart echo, so I have an appointment today for this procedure, and he also wants to see the CAT scan that was done on me prior to my surgery last January. The reason for this is to determine why I have this condition, and if I am allergic to the chemo drug, 5FU, that has been blamed for my stroke. Dr Mookadam is not certain that this was the case. Interesting.

I am also meeting today with the surgeon, and I am hoping he will provide me with a date for surgery, my guess is somewhere around the first few weeks in June.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Numbers 6:24-26

Numbers 6:24-26.  "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace."

What a beautiful blessing!  I rarely read Numbers because it is hard to read, by that I mean all the details of the sacrifices in the temple and the old rules that Israel followed.  Now, we have Jesus and we no longer need to burn a sacrifice for our sins.  Jesus was our sacrifice on the cross.  This blessing still applies because the Lord does bless us and keep us, and he delights in us.  Most of us find it difficult to believe that the Lord of all the universe wants a personal relationship with us. But he does, our part is to believe.

I feel good after my surgery.  I was a bit tired today but I have been getting to bed late.  If only I could put my book down at a reasonable time and not continue reading well past the time that I know I should.  

I have several appointments next week.  One with the surgeon and the other with a new cardiologist whose speciality is the fluid around the heart.  To date, no one has been able to figure out why I have this condition.  I was glad to know that the CAT scan showed that the fluid had decreased.  If it had not, then I was possibly looking at having it drained.  A needle near the heart is not something that I want to have done to me.  I am hoping that this doctor does not give me the bad news that this will need to be done.  I think that I will start radiation treatments on April 21 and I was told that my chemo will begin before that.  That would mean that chemo starts next week, but I have not been scheduled so far.

I have a few days of vacation scheduled for April 18-19.  I hope that I can keep these days and start fresh the next week.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Psalm 121

Psalm 121.  "I lift my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.  Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.  The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will keep your from all evil; he will keep  your life.  The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."

My stint replacement went very well.  I was in surgery for less than 45 minutes, but I was at the hospital for over 4 hours.  The hardest part was not having any water from midnight until I was in recovery.  Thank you for your prayers because I was very calm and not at all anxious.  I had a feeling of mild cramps after surgery and have taken a few pain pills but I am not in pain.  I am having a burning sensation when I urinate and some bleeding but this is normal.

I have an appointment tomorrow with radiology and they will mark me for my radiation treatments so that when I start the machine will be set with my measurements.  I will meet with the nurse who will schedule my appointments.  

I look forward to each doctors appointment because each one gets me closer to the goal of being finished.  As the psalm says, my help comes from the Lord who will not let your foot be moved.  He will keep your life.  What more can you ask for?








Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Jeremiah 29:11-13. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."

Throughout the old and new testament, God says to seek him...to ask. He is not hard to find if you seek him with all your heart. He wants us to ask. He wants us to have a personal relationship with him. I could not imagine life without this promise.

I have an appointment today with Dr Callister who is my radiation oncology doctor. He will discuss with me the plan for the next phase of radiation and chemo before I have surgery. When I first met with him, he said that I would have daily radiation, Monday thru Friday, for 5 weeks. I will find out if this is still the plan or if the Cat Scan shows I can have less radiation.

I am scheduled tomorrow for the stint replacement. This will be done as an outpatient. I will find out the time for the procedure today. I was told to plan on being there for 4-5 hours. This is a routine procedure but still has some risk due to me having to be under anestesia. Please pray that I do well, and do not have any complications.