Psalm 8:9-10

Psalm 8:9-10 "The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you."

I am so thankful to my Lord for being my stronghold. He is my strength. I have friends ask me all the time how I do it. How do I stand in the face of this oppression called cancer. Well, the answer is easy. It is not my strength but the Lord's. Isaiah 40:28-31 says it perfectly for me "....the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. (Now pay attention...this is it!!!) He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

I love the word picture of "mounting up with wings like eagles". Can you imagine what your problems would look like if you could soar above them like an eagle? What we see as big and insurmountable up close can actually look like a small piece of the puzzle from afar. All we need is a new perspective. We need the Lord because he is the one who renews our strength and then we can" run and not be weary and walk and not faint".

I feel like I have been running this past year . I have been working full time but beginning to having a hard time taking care of myself. Life got a little harder back in May when my right kidney became inflamed. About this time, my chemo dosage was strengthened when it was discovered that I was not getting a full dose. I have never had a problem with chemo that a few days rest would not cure, but this time was different. It really drained me and I lost my hair again. My body seemed to be in a lot of stress and not getting better. My stints were not draining and chemo was put on hold until my kidney started functioning better. I had a tube inserted in my side to drain the kidney. What should have been one month of the tube in my kidney turned into over 4 months. Just after the tube came out, I was in the emergency room on Labor Day weekend with severe pain in my right side. What I assumed to be the kidney acting up again turned out to be a blocked intestine from scar tissue that happened when I had surgery 4 years ago. I was in the hospital 4 days but back again 2 days later with the same problem. Surgery was considered but, thankfully, the intestine cleared again and I was told to eat soft foods for at least 10 days so the intestine could heal. For those of you who know I prefer a high-fiber- no sugar diet this was and continues to be hard. I have warning signs every so often that I need to be careful but at least I know what to do now. After the 2nd time returning home from the hospital, I became concerned that I needed more time to heal . I made an appointment with my oncologist, Dr Parapati and we again discussed chemo. She had wanted me to have chemo weekly but I had nixed that idea in May because it would have been difficult to miss one day of work a week for chemo then the possibility of not feeling good the other days. All this being said, we decided the best option for me would be to take FMLA leave and concentrate on getting well. This is what I am doing now. I am not working but am taking chemo every Wednesday. The schedule will have me taking chemo for 4 weeks then off 2 weeks. I have been told that the side-effects are cumulative and will increase each week. I already know that I am tired most of the time and I am never far away from taking a nap. I am not bored, and have so much to do. My newest grandson, Judah, was born on September 20 and is doing well. Britain is now 2 and such a joy!!! I feel blessed to have the time to take care of myself and look forward to a complete healing.

I want to thank each of you for your prayers. You are such a blessing to me.

Romans 8:27-28

Romans 8:27-28. "And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."

All things work together for good. What a bold statement. Does pain work together for good? Does affliction work together for good? Does cancer work together for good? Yes, absolutely it does. Without coming to the end of our strength can we ever fully understand the strength of the Lord. His almighty strength is never ending and is new every morning. There is no other place I would rather be.

I was in extreme pain Thursday night, and was welcoming surgery if it would take away the pain. Funny thing, thought, surgery was the last thing that I had wanted last week, but I was now at the end of my endurance to this pain, so I welcomed the surgery. Funny thing happened on the way to preparing for surgery, the surgeon said that he would like to try a few days of resting my intestine to see if it would relax and repair itself. He said that upon review of the CT scan, there was concern that surgery for me would become a major surgery. You see, the intestinal scar is in the same area as my tumor and stints and also where a fistula has formed, which is a hole or tear near my right kidney (probably as as result of chemo). For me, this surgery could have a negative impact and cause more problems. I am thankful for a wise surgeon, I do not know if he is a Christian, but he did mention God in talking with me.

So, less that 12 hours after his decision not to do surgery, my intestine has unblocked. I have not seen the surgeon today and am not sure of the next steps in my recovery, but I think he said we would take things much slower this time. I am on intravenous fluids for nutrition which could last a few days, then a soft diet.

Thank you for your prayers. Our God is a Great an Merciful Father.

Psalm 103:1-4

Psalms 103:1-4 . Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies.

This has not turned out to be the Labor Day Weekend I had planned. I am in the Mayo hospital. I went to the emergency room last night because my right side was extremely tender and my stomach was hurting. I could not keep anything down. My concern was that I was having problems with my stints. But that was not the case. I was given a CAT scan and a blockage in my intestine was found. The doctors have since said that a blockage can be the result of scar tissue that forms after surgery. Even though my surgery was 3 1/2 years ago, it could be the cause of the problem. I have a tube down my nose/throat that is pulling out the contents of my stomach and intestine up to the blockage. The hope is that this will give the area relief and that the problem will correct itself and open up the intestine and in 24-48 hours I will be fine. Of course this is the prayer because if this does not happen, I will need surgery. I don't need to say why surgery is not an option in my book.

I appreciate all your prayers. The tube is very uncomfortable and it making my throat sore but it is the means to my healing. Please pray that the time will pass quickly and that I can leave the hospital as planned.