Psalm 55:22

1/25/08Today is the first day of my new chemo treatments and I wanted to start with thanking each of you for your prayers. How you have blessed me!!! I was brought to tears this last year, not with my circumstances, but with the knowledge of how many of you were praying for me. Some of you do not know me personally, this side of heaven, but we are linked by God's love and grace.

I chose Psalm 55:22 for today from a devotional by John Piper titled "Pierced by the Word. This is what he says: God Pledges to Carry Our Burdens Psalm 55:22, "Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." The word "burden" here is lot. What is your lot in life today? What has providence brought you? In the end, this is of the Lord. And He will carry it for you. It is not meant to crush you or carry you away. It is meant to test your trust in God to carry it for you.

I admit that I have been dreading chemo. Some of you know that I only had one chemo treatment last year when a blood clot stopped me short, then a stroke. My doctors at Mayo have determined that I was allergic to the type of chemo that I was given. I will be receiving a different chemo and I am on a blood thinner so the chances of the same thing happening is slim. But I know the side effects of chemo and this is what I have been dreading. However, God is so good and this is what happened yesterday: I was at work, between phone calls, when I felt what I call a "God hug". If you have ever felt this, you know what I mean, it is an unmistakable warmth that lights you up with an almost electric feeling, and instantly I felt these words comfort my soul, "Gwen, do no fear this chemo, it is for you to give you life, not to harm you. You will be well, trust in Me." From that moment on, I have been looking forward to today, to this first chemo treatment.

I will try to write each day. Again, I thank you for your prayers!!!