Psalm 55:22

Psalm 55:22. "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."

I have to admit, that I had to look up Psalm 55:22 because I could not remember the verse. The Lord lead me to this verse the first day that I started my blog, and it has been my identity since then. We all have burdens, but it is what we do with them that defines us. Those who call upon the name of Jesus as their Lord and Savior have the assurance that we are never alone, but sometimes we have a hard time with that truth. Sometimes we need to walk through tough times to see just how much he loves us. The "world" would say that if he loved us, he would not allow bad things to happen, but that is just not true. Even Psalm 55:22 sounds as if he would not allow this to happen, but this is written for those who have given their life to Jesus. I am not righteous. I am a sinner but because I have given my life to Jesus, he says that I am righteous. It is his righteousness, not mine.

So much as happened since I last posted my blog. It was decided that it would be in my best interest to not have any more chemo....at least for awhile. Chemo had worked really well for me and I responded well, but I was told from the beginning that this could change. The combination of weight loss from surgery and chemo has left me very weak but I am slowly getting better. The last time I wrote in my blog, chemo had brought my tumor marker down to about 60, but since I cannot have chemo right now, the marker has gone up to 135, which is a all-time high for me.

My prayer requests:

That I will daily turn all my burdens over to the Lord.

I ask for strength in my right hip area because I sometimes have a hard time walking.

Weight gain....I would love to gain 20-25 lbs. Pray for an appetite.

Pray that the tumors are contained and do not spread. I have tumors in my right colin area and in my lungs.

Praise:

My surgeons told me in Feb of this year that a CAT scan showed what they termed a "mass" located near the intestine and colin, where the tumors are located. I was told that it could be tumors that are breaking down. They advised if surgery was performed it could be very risky. The decision was made to not do anything at that time. I actually forgot about it until about a month ago. In a week's time, I had an area on my right hip that became inflamed and was very painful. What happened next is something I refer to as a "God thing". The mass started draining from the inflamed area. The doctors could not explain the drainage but I knew that the Lord had chosen to rid my body of these toxins. I still have some drainage but I think of it as a good thing.

Thank you for praying for me.

James 5:20:13-15

James 5:20:13-15. Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.Is anyone among you sick?.....And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up.

I have been unable to have chemo for a long time now. I had one chemo infusion about 6 weeks ago and was blessed to have my tumor marker drop 30 points, but since then my potassium levels have been too low. The reason is that I have diarrhea daily and cannot keep the fluids in my body. I also have the problem of not being hungry and have lost too much weight. Last time I lost 15 lbs in one week after chemo, most being fluids. I do not have the weight to allow that much weight loss. I have some precious friends who are bringing meals over and that helps me so much, but I seem to be very tired around dinner time and do not have the energy to even eat! I never thought that I would have this problem since I have always needed to loose a few pounds. I need to have chemo. Please pray for chemo, tomorrow, I am scheduled for Wed June 9. Please pray for my health and energy so that I can go back to work in August. I have been home too long, it is time for getting back to a normal life!!

Chemo scheduled for Wed. Thank you for praying!

I still believe in the healing hand of the Lord, and look forward to that day when I am told that the tumors have disappeared. Pray with me, please.

I Thessalonians 5:9

I Thessalonians 5:9. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

First of all, a praise. I was in the hospital last weekend, facing a procedure that I was told was necessary, but was risky. No one wants a needle near the heart pulling out fluid. All I could do was trust in the Lord and I had to turn my fears over to him. My EKG on Friday showed a build-up of fluid and the doctor wanted me to go that very minute to the hospital for the procedure. I was not expecting that and asked the doctor if I could wait until Sunday. My son, Beau. was leaving on Saturday to go to New Zealand and I wanted to be with him until then. After promising that I would go immediately if I started feeling faint or dizzy, he agreed. Well. the ER doctor told me after a CAT scan that waiting was a good idea. He didn't see the need to rush. I had another EKG on Monday morning and the doctor was a little confused, he did not see an amazing amount of fluid that was there on Friday, some was there but not enough to have the procedure. I was released that afternoon with only 24 hours in the hospital!!

I had been overly anemic and required 4 bags of blood to bring up my red blood cells. (Thank you if you give blood, it really does save lives!) I was also given other nutrients and fluids. What a blessing!!!

Even though I should be healthier, I start chemo tomorrow, it will last for 2 hours and starts at 10:30 am.

Prayer requests:

1) That I will tolerate the chemo

2) That I do not loose more weight, this usually comes in the form of diarrhea

3) I would like to gain weight and need prayer to want to eat

4) I need to drink plenty of fluids, this can be hard

5) I still have pain from my surgery and now have fluid buildup in my ankles

Thank you for all your kind messages and support. It means so much to me!

Thank you, Lord, for healing me!!

Hebrews 4:16

Hebrews 4:16. "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

I had an EKG on Friday which revealed that I have fluid around my heart as well as some fluid in my lungs. I have never had fluid in my lungs but have had the fluid around my heart, which got better with medication. That was 4 years ago. This time, the doctor wants me to go the the hospital and have the fluid removed. I don't know the exact procedure but I do know that it is done with a needle to draw out the fluid. I am not sure how the fluid in the lungs is removed.

I will go to the emergency room today to check in but do not know when the procedure will be done. I was told to expect to be in the hospital for about 3 days.

An update on my intestinal surgery: The surgery was more complicated than expected. I was in the hospital for about 6 weeks. The doctors were unable to go through with the micro surgery because there was too much scar tissue, so they had to open up my long incision wound. A few days after surgery, I was back in again because I was not healing due to a leakage, so I was opened up again. Part of the first surgery was to bring out my intestion on the outside of my body and I wore a bag to collect the waste, this is called a stoma. This was to give my body a chance to rest, but this procedure did not work on me. My body was producing too much liquid and was causing me to become dehydrated. I should have had the stoma for a few months but instead my doctor made the decision to remove it, which meant that I had 3 surgery's in 6 weeks. I had been unable to eat due to the pain it caused. I lost about 25 pounds during that time and have gained back only a few pounds. I have lost my appetite and most foods do not taste good to me. I cannot imagine that this has happened to me because I love to eat!!

I am still in pain on a daily basis and take a time released pain medication plus additional stronger medication as needed. Since I am in such pain and need to gain weight, my chemo has been on hold since January. My last blood work showed that my tumor level is at 92, my highest ever and the small tumors in my lungs have gotten larger. I have 5 tumors that have grown. The same chemo that I have been getting also works on the lungs. I need to feel better so that I can go back to chemo. I would appreciate your prayers and thank you to those who pray for me daily.

Thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Psalm 63:7-8

Psalm 63:7-8. "...for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."

God is so good. I had a wonderful Christmas and it was not until Dec 27 that I started to feel bad again with the same symptoms of intestinal blockage that put me in the hospital in September. This time, it would not go away and I have been in pain most of that time up until now. I have been able to eat much of anything since this began and even drinking water has hurt my stomach. I was in the hospital last week for a few days and actually saw the same doctors and surgical team as before. The doctors have been wonderful and have not pushed me to have surgery but I know that if I do not have surgery, this problem will continue. I thought that if I would stay on a Low Residue diet for awhile it would give my intestine time to heal, but I was wrong, diet will not heal this problem. I also now understand what this diet really is and I am not willing to stay forever on what I call a "White Bread and Jello Diet". It is very unhealthy and is not good for me.

I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow, Jan 20. Surgery time is 2:30-3:00 pm. My doctor, Dr Gray, is a Oncology Surgeon and has done this procedure many times. They will start with a camera to see if they can see what is causing the problem and hopefully correct it without major surgery. Even though I have had several CAT scans and it appears that scar tissue from my first surgery in 2007 is the problem, they cannot be sure until they see it. Please pray that this will be an easy surgery so that I can get back to chemo and the real reason behind my health problems. I am on hold for chemo for at least 4 weeks.

I am thankful to each of you who remember me and pray for me. I want you to know how precious this is and how much I depend on your intercession for me. My trust is in the Lord. Thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Exodus 15:2

Exodus 15:2. "The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation."

I started on round 2 of chemo therapy yesterday and will have weekly chemo for 4 weeks. This last round was very successful. My tumor marker started out at 46.6 on Sept 16, then down to 28.9 on Oct 13 and finally down to 25 on Nov 2. I pray that this round will continue the trend of at least 4-5 points per session. God is so good and I give Him all the praise!!

It is true that He is my strength. I could not imagine not having His daily encouragement. He works not only through his word but through you. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for remembering to pray for me.

I am scheduled for another stint replacement on Dec 15. My test results a few weeks ago showed the stints are working perfectly and that my kidney is back to normal.

I started physical therapy this week to strengthen my leg muscles. I had a hard time when I had the tube in my side, so much so that my right leg ached with a burning sensation most of the time. Now that the tube is out, I am getting better each week but I still have times when my leg aches, so the therapy will surely help.

I am so thankful to have this time off from work to have time to heal. I have only praises for how this has worked out for me.

Thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Psalm 8:9-10

Psalm 8:9-10 "The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you."

I am so thankful to my Lord for being my stronghold. He is my strength. I have friends ask me all the time how I do it. How do I stand in the face of this oppression called cancer. Well, the answer is easy. It is not my strength but the Lord's. Isaiah 40:28-31 says it perfectly for me "....the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. (Now pay attention...this is it!!!) He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

I love the word picture of "mounting up with wings like eagles". Can you imagine what your problems would look like if you could soar above them like an eagle? What we see as big and insurmountable up close can actually look like a small piece of the puzzle from afar. All we need is a new perspective. We need the Lord because he is the one who renews our strength and then we can" run and not be weary and walk and not faint".

I feel like I have been running this past year . I have been working full time but beginning to having a hard time taking care of myself. Life got a little harder back in May when my right kidney became inflamed. About this time, my chemo dosage was strengthened when it was discovered that I was not getting a full dose. I have never had a problem with chemo that a few days rest would not cure, but this time was different. It really drained me and I lost my hair again. My body seemed to be in a lot of stress and not getting better. My stints were not draining and chemo was put on hold until my kidney started functioning better. I had a tube inserted in my side to drain the kidney. What should have been one month of the tube in my kidney turned into over 4 months. Just after the tube came out, I was in the emergency room on Labor Day weekend with severe pain in my right side. What I assumed to be the kidney acting up again turned out to be a blocked intestine from scar tissue that happened when I had surgery 4 years ago. I was in the hospital 4 days but back again 2 days later with the same problem. Surgery was considered but, thankfully, the intestine cleared again and I was told to eat soft foods for at least 10 days so the intestine could heal. For those of you who know I prefer a high-fiber- no sugar diet this was and continues to be hard. I have warning signs every so often that I need to be careful but at least I know what to do now. After the 2nd time returning home from the hospital, I became concerned that I needed more time to heal . I made an appointment with my oncologist, Dr Parapati and we again discussed chemo. She had wanted me to have chemo weekly but I had nixed that idea in May because it would have been difficult to miss one day of work a week for chemo then the possibility of not feeling good the other days. All this being said, we decided the best option for me would be to take FMLA leave and concentrate on getting well. This is what I am doing now. I am not working but am taking chemo every Wednesday. The schedule will have me taking chemo for 4 weeks then off 2 weeks. I have been told that the side-effects are cumulative and will increase each week. I already know that I am tired most of the time and I am never far away from taking a nap. I am not bored, and have so much to do. My newest grandson, Judah, was born on September 20 and is doing well. Britain is now 2 and such a joy!!! I feel blessed to have the time to take care of myself and look forward to a complete healing.

I want to thank each of you for your prayers. You are such a blessing to me.

Romans 8:27-28

Romans 8:27-28. "And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."

All things work together for good. What a bold statement. Does pain work together for good? Does affliction work together for good? Does cancer work together for good? Yes, absolutely it does. Without coming to the end of our strength can we ever fully understand the strength of the Lord. His almighty strength is never ending and is new every morning. There is no other place I would rather be.

I was in extreme pain Thursday night, and was welcoming surgery if it would take away the pain. Funny thing, thought, surgery was the last thing that I had wanted last week, but I was now at the end of my endurance to this pain, so I welcomed the surgery. Funny thing happened on the way to preparing for surgery, the surgeon said that he would like to try a few days of resting my intestine to see if it would relax and repair itself. He said that upon review of the CT scan, there was concern that surgery for me would become a major surgery. You see, the intestinal scar is in the same area as my tumor and stints and also where a fistula has formed, which is a hole or tear near my right kidney (probably as as result of chemo). For me, this surgery could have a negative impact and cause more problems. I am thankful for a wise surgeon, I do not know if he is a Christian, but he did mention God in talking with me.

So, less that 12 hours after his decision not to do surgery, my intestine has unblocked. I have not seen the surgeon today and am not sure of the next steps in my recovery, but I think he said we would take things much slower this time. I am on intravenous fluids for nutrition which could last a few days, then a soft diet.

Thank you for your prayers. Our God is a Great an Merciful Father.

Psalm 103:1-4

Psalms 103:1-4 . Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies.

This has not turned out to be the Labor Day Weekend I had planned. I am in the Mayo hospital. I went to the emergency room last night because my right side was extremely tender and my stomach was hurting. I could not keep anything down. My concern was that I was having problems with my stints. But that was not the case. I was given a CAT scan and a blockage in my intestine was found. The doctors have since said that a blockage can be the result of scar tissue that forms after surgery. Even though my surgery was 3 1/2 years ago, it could be the cause of the problem. I have a tube down my nose/throat that is pulling out the contents of my stomach and intestine up to the blockage. The hope is that this will give the area relief and that the problem will correct itself and open up the intestine and in 24-48 hours I will be fine. Of course this is the prayer because if this does not happen, I will need surgery. I don't need to say why surgery is not an option in my book.

I appreciate all your prayers. The tube is very uncomfortable and it making my throat sore but it is the means to my healing. Please pray that the time will pass quickly and that I can leave the hospital as planned.

Psalm 146:5-7

Psalm 146:5-7. "Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all this is in them, who keeps faith forever, who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry."

It has been four months since I had the tube placed in my side to drain the right kidney. It has been a long, hard time and finally it is over. My kidney is draining and the tube was taken out today. Dr Humphrey's had to go back in last Thursday and do another stint replacement because the replacement done two weeks earlier did not help, the stints would not drain. He ordered in 8 different styles of stints and was prepared to try each one until he got it right. He had scheduled several hours for this procedure and was able to find one that worked much sooner that he had thought. He knew right away that this would work because he could see in the x-ray the stints were draining. I had to wait 3 days and then clamp the tube off to find out if it was indeed working and that I did not have any pain.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am. I usually don't complain about what I have to go through but this was different. My right leg ached all the time and even kept me awake at night. The catheter bag is bulky under clothes and very hot. With what I have been through, I have true compassion for anyone that has to wear any type of bag.

Thank you for your prayers.

God is so good!

Thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Hebrews 11:1 and 6

Hebrews 11:1 and 6. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.......And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God, must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

I use the English Standard Version of the Bible now and the above verse came from that translation, but one of my favorites is the Ryrie Study Bible which is the New America Standard. I love it because of the notes that explains the verses. The note on this verse says, "Faith gives reality and proof of things unseen, treating them as if they were already objects of sight rather than of hope." Faith sees before reality confirms. The only way to get to that assurance is to believe that God rewards those who trust in him. The reality is that man may think faith is foolish but God thinks it is precious, he knows that his children know the truth. But don't forget, so does Satan. He knows the truth and will do everything in his power to use deception and lies to attack our faith. Our shield to his lies is to take up the whole armor of God in Ephesians 6:10-17. We must pray daily for this protection.

I was reminded recently of praying daily for myself in Ephesians 6. What a difference it makes! Verse 16 says: "In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one." The truth is that in the battle of life, I am not alone, because verse 1 says: "..be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might."

We hear that cancer is a battle. Could it be that our battle could be defined in Ephesians 6? Verse 11-12: "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

I remember many times that Pastor Darryl said Christians do not take Ephesians 6 seriously. He said that Satan attacks in two ways, either through affliction or deception. The book of Job is all about affliction, and too many Christians are deceived that our Lord could not love us because of our sins.

I have been afflicted through my health, and I believe that my God will deliver me just as he did for Job.

I need your prayers. My stints are not draining. I still have the catheter in my kidney. I had stint replacement two weeks ago and I will again have it done this coming Thursday Aug 12. Dr Humphreys does not know why my stints are not working. He believes they could be kinking once inserted and he is planning on trying another type. He has ordered different styles and will try combinations until he gets the results he wants. Pray for his wisdom during surgery.

I have not seen my oncologist, Dr Parapatti since my last chemo treatment. She wanted to wait until the kidney situation was solved, so I do not have an update.

My prayer has been and continues to be that she will say to me... "Gwen...it is gone. We do not know why, but you are clear." But I will know why and so will you.

Please continue to pray....I don't like the word battle...but that is exactly what it is.

Isaiah 40:31

Isaiah 40:31. "...but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

This past 9 months since my last posting has not been easy. I have found myself discouraged more times that I would like to admit. I gradually stopped doing what I knew in my heart of hearts that I should do: Read my bible consistently, go to church, reach out to other believers, record my thoughts in my blog (I was without a computer until a few months ago but I could have found a way to write), I stopped my good diet and started back into my old ways, I stopped pretending to exercise...I just let myself go, but the Lord did not let me stay this way. He has once again rescued me, and is daily renewing my strength. You see, I never stopped praying, I never stopped my personal relationship with my Lord and Savior...I just...how do I say this...I stopped my urgency in my prayers and I think I was not honest. I felt disappointed. How do you tell the Lord that you are disappointed? Why would I think that He did not already know? I do not know why I continue to have this cancer when I know I have been promised healing. Healing in this life and body, not healing in Heaven. Just look at how David cried out to the Lord for deliverance. He wanted to know why God was taking so long, and where was He is time of need? Psalm 22:1-2. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry day by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest."

I have been honest with the Lord and He can take it. I have not lost my faith but instead feel like I am being led to another level. David knew that the Lord was in Heaven and in control of all things. The Lord answered David, and I trust He will answer me as well.

My last stint replacement a few months ago was not normal. Dr Humphreys said that "something" was pushing against the stints and causing them not to work. He put in a cathether for a month to relieve my right kidney. Tests showed that my right kidney was about 3 times the size of my left kidney, so he took out the foley cathether and put in a neuthropany tube which exits out of my right side, from my kidney, into a cathether bag. I am to wear this until June 17. Please pray that I can have this cathether taken out. It is causing me pain. Not at the site but on my right leg. It aches day and night and causes me to not sleep. I am trying not to take pain killers because I do not want to become addicted to them. It feels like a bad sunburn and is the best way for me to describe the pain. I thought that it might be the bag itself, maybe an allergic reaction to the latex, or the binding elastic straps that held it in place, so I purchased a holder that allows me to insert the bag into the pocket on the leg..but this has not helped either.

Dr Humphreys is not my oncologist, so he did not elaborate on what that "something" was that was causing the stints not to work. I knew what he meant...the tumor had grown. This was confirmed by Dr Parapati last week when she said that my tumor level was at 23.5. The highest that it had been before was 16.5. I have been getting two chemo drugs but I have been taken off one because it is has not helped and is very strong. I am now taking only one drug. I had chemo on Friday. My concern is that she told me that the list of drugs they can give me is getting short. This is the last one that is known to help colin cancer, but I could go on a clinical study. A clinical study is when they use drugs that have not proven effective for a certain cancer but they believe that it could help, more study is needed.

My prayers have intensified. I feel convinced that I must get on a strict diet. I need your prayer support. Please pray that my help comes quickly. Prayer that this cancer has a boundary and cannot go past that boundary, prayer that the tumor dies from the roots up. Prayer that cancer stops in my family with me.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

1 Thessalonians 5:17. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

I have been negectling to write in my blog. There has been so much happening that it would take a long time to put everything down. As to my chemo treatments. I went to the(CTC) Cancer Treatment Center last month. I actually felt better after chemo, whether it was the 3 treatments as opposed to 1, or the addition of the B vitamins and melatonin, I do not know, but I do know that I was not as fatigued as usual. I liked the CTC until I got the bill, which was over 3x more than Mayo for the same thing. I asked for an explanation of the bill, and never got an answer. That really bothered me, as well as some other mishaps but all in all, I like Mayo better. The only thing about CTC that I will miss that I can't get at Mayo is the Naturopathic doctor. I am not unhappy that I tried the CTC, because I have some good information that I did not have before. I plan on asking Dr Parapati if I can get fractionated doses of chemo at Mayo....it is worth a try.

I had to postpone my August chemo by 2 weeks, please pray that this will not cause me to loose the effects of the first chemo and that my CEA level is not high. I have no idea where it is, and this is a concern of mine.

One thing to note....I have lost my hair for the first time. Yup, as bald as an eagle. I joke that I look like Darth Vader when he took off his helmet or I look like a fuzzy newborn baby chick that has little hairs sticking straight up. Either way, it was a bit traumatic at first until I had all my hair shaved off, now I don't mind. Sure makes getting ready in the morning easier. No blow drying the hair etc.... I just plop on the wig, which by the way, is almost exactly like my old hair.

As to what I need now, I need prayer. Prayer that I will not take for granted the promise that I feel the Lord made to me about my healing. I know his promise was real but I have become so busy that I forget to pray as I should. I am not sticking to a good diet and have slipped back into my old ways little by little. This is bad for anyone but especially bad for anyone with cancer. Please pray that I will honor the body that has been given to me and will treat it with respect. Please pray that this next round of chemo will once and for all, bring me healing. Please pray that my next stint exchange on Sept 11, will go well and that I tolerate the anesthesia with no problem. Please pray for energy and a clear mind so that I can be efficient in my job.

Thank you for your prayers and thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Psalm 62:5-7

Psalm 62:5-7. "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God."

With God all things are possible. Even though I am beginning chemo again tomorrow, I have no fear because my Lord is with me. I am never alone and my circumstance does not cause me to loose hope.

I am now a patient at the Cancer Treatment Center of America. It was hard to leave Mayo, especially Dr Parapatti but she has graciously said that I could go back anytime. That was such a blessing because I really like her, but she understood that I need to make changes while I still have the option. She has said that chemo will only work for a period of time, then it stops being effective. My naturopathic doctor, Shauna, has already placed me on Melatonin and B6 + B Complex. The Melatonin increases blood factors related to inhibition of tumor growth plus other benefits and the B6 helps prevent peripheral neuropathy (numbness and tingling) which is one of the side effects of the chemo drug that I will be getting. It also helps with fatigue which is also a big side effect. My nutritionist, Barbara, has placed me on a diet higher in protein than I had been doing, but she loved that I had switched to a plant-based diet already.

My chemo drugs will be the same that Mayo used but it will be given in fractured doses over 3 days instead of one. Supposedly, giving smaller doses increases the benefits of killing more cancer cells plus lessens the severity of the side effects. This is already more than Mayo has done, but still within the traditional medicine approach that they use.

I will be at the CTC starting tomorrow, Wednesday thru Friday. I will have the chemo then go to work from 2p-6p. Please pray that I will have the energy necessary to do my job.

Thank you for your prayers. I can't wait to let you know how this goes

Psalm 46:10

Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God"

My appointment at the Cancer Treatment Center of America was above my expectations. I feel that this is what I have been praying for and that God is surely in that place. I spent the morning answering questions, verifying my personal information, meeting with my case manager, having blood work drawn, and finally meeting my new oncologist. In the beginning, I was under whelmed by him. His name is Dr S. Frederick Brunk, who is somewhere in his 70's, and speaks very softly. He is slim and looks as though he has been eating well all his life. With his white beard, he reminded me of a slim Santa Claus. After a round of note taking in which I realized that he was very familiar with my health care so far, he had me put on a robe so that he could listen to my heart etc. He had a sweet lady come in while he was doing this procedure, who turned out to be his wife ,Mary. Then he used his stethoscope and a small rubber hammer that most of us have had doctors whack our knees for reflex, and began to gently tap me all over my back, then he had me lie down and off he went tapping on my stomach and around right area where my tumors are, and using a ballpoint pen to mark off something on my stomach. I looked at Mary and said, "what is he doing?" When he finished tapping, he said that he was listening for the tumors. What did he say? Listening for the tumors? After he left the room so I could get dressed, Mary explained that Dr Brunk has perfected a procedure over many years in which he uses percussion to give a better physical diagnosis of a patients health. He has written a paper which has received acclaim from his peers that was published in the International Journal of Clinical Practice. Mary asked if I would like a copy of the paper,and I jumped at the chance. After reading it, it makes perfect sense. I certainly don't understand the medical terms but I get the jest of it. He says that he can better understand what is going on using this technique and finds this is better than most scans. He has ordered another CAT scan for tomorrow because he told me after he came back into the room that he has a suspicion that the uptake in my CEA level is not from the two tumors near my urthuer but rather from two spots in my lungs that Mayo has told me are not active. Is this not interesting? We will find out if the tapping is accurate, but at any rate, I am intrigued.

So, I went from "under whelmed" to "in awe" in a manner of minutes, so it may be Christmas after all Virginia, and Dr Brunk could be my Santa Claus.

After meeting tomorrow with the teams in naturopathic, nutrition, and spiritual wellness, I will then have my CAT scan, and sometime early next week, I will get the results and a plan of action will begin.

Thank you for your prayers. Isn't it wonderful when we pray the God has a way of answering our prayers in a way that is far more than we can ask or think?

I can't forget to tell you about what Mary said. When I was dressing, we were talking like old friends and she said something about spiritual wellness. I remarked that this, thankfully, was not a problem of mine, and she said, "Oh Gwen, I know that. When I first saw you, I knew that you had the joy of the Lord on your face. Is that not the best? We hugged and I felt the arms of the Lord around me. From Him, to Mary, to me. What a blessing!

Ephesians 4:20

Ephesians 4:20. "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,"

When the hand of God moves, it is with precision. All of the pieces of the puzzle start to fit together. When we pray, we ask for what we think we need, but then, by praying as we should for his will and not ours, we open up the abundance that the verse in Ephesians speaks about. God's power is in each of us who call upon the name of Jesus as our Lord. It is his Holy Spirit that dwells in us and prays for us. This is explained in Romans 8:26-28. "Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

How wonderful....all things work together for good.

Since my last post, I have continued to pray for God's will in my life and in my cancer. I said before that I believed nutrition and diet was the key. I started "googling" diet and cancer and found some old as well as new information. Some I immediately put aside as false, some I liked....but in my search I came across something that I had forgotten. The Cancer Center of America recently opened a campus in the Phoenix area. Their website is full of useful information. They have traditional cancer treatments the same as Mayo which is surgery, chemo, radiation but they go further and have natural programs focusing on nutrition, exercise, and much more. I was struck by the words of Dr Parapatti the last time we spoke. She said that since my CEA level had gone up so fast, the we were looking at chemo again, and that I could start now or wait a month....and then she left it up to me. This reminded me of my first oncologist, who did not have a plan but would ask me what I wanted to do. Dr Parapatti is not like him, but I felt the question to be one in the same. I remembered when she told me that we would use chemo sparingly because chemo will not work after awhile. I do not want to wait until I have no choice...I believe I have a choice now, and I have an appointment with the Cancer Center of Thursday July 9 for an evaluation. Good news is that my insurance will cover me if I change from Mayo to the Cancer Center. I can hardly believe that I might make this change. Mayo has been wonderful, but I am cognizant of the fact that they are only traditional medicine and I believe I am being lead to try something different. Please do not think that I am grabbing for straws and seeking strange cures.....I am not....this is different and I will let you know what I decide.

I appreciate all you prayers and phone calls. I am doing well and actually have not felt this good in years!!!

Psalm 119:105

Psalm 119:105. "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

Sometimes we do not get the message that we had hoped for. I had hoped that my cancer was gone but it is not. Good news is that is has not spread. Bad news is that after chemo my tumor level had dropped from 4.7 to 3.7 last month to 9.9 yesterday. What caused this? I don't know but I am thinking that I have allowed my diet to get worse and that I need to be aware of what foods to avoid and what foods to eat. I know that I have allowed sugar back into my diet and I also know from doing research today that cancer cannot survive in an alkaline environment. That translates into what I have known but was getting away from...eating a plant based diet. Not as radical as it sounds but when you have cancer, some foods are toxic to you that would not harm someone without cancer. Please pray that by eating the right foods, my CEA level does not increase, but even decreases. If it does, then I know that I am on the right path.

Dr Parapatti said that we could start chemo again or wait for a month to see what happens. I asked her if we could recheck the tumor level (the CEA level) in two weeks and she agreed. I will let you know if anything changes.

Psalm 23:1-2

Psalm 23:1-2  "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters."

I love this psalm and it has become one of my favorites.  It is comforting, as well as awe inspiring, to know that the Lord of the universe is watching over me.  Me!  And not only me, but everyone who believes in the name of Jesus.  I shall not want for any good thing.  He has given it all.  I am made to lie down in green pastures even though my health is enough to make me be consumed with worry.  I sometimes forget this and begin to worry, and when it happens, God always brings me back and gives me his peace.  He leads me beside still waters!  Not a storm ridden sea that could cause me to drown, but still water!  What a God we have!

It has been a long time since I had my stint replacement and I have not written to let everyone know that it went perfect.  Just perfect!  No problems with surgery or recovery.  Just perfect.  I know that it was an answer to prayer!

My next appointment is in a few weeks, June 17, when I have the PET scan.  This is the scan that I have been waiting for and will tell us if the cancer is still active.  The tumors will "light up" if they are still there.  I cannot worry about this test, it is in God's hands.  I believe this is what I have been waiting for, a clear scan.  I believe that I will be healed, and I ask for this in prayer. 

Please pray for me.

Psalm 46:10

Psalm 46:10. "Be still ,and know that I am God."

Be still, do not worry, I know what you need before you ask. We know this, but sometimes we forget this great promise. I am not anxious, but I do remember the last stint exchange in January. It did not go well for me. Delays caused me to be in surgery late, around 6pm and I did not get out of the hospital until almost 10pm that night. The anesthesia did not go well, and I was very uncomfortable.

Per my request, I have the first schedule tomorrow morning. I am to report to the hospital at 6am and surgery scheduled for 7:30 am. This is good. Please pray that the anesthesia goes well and I do not feel any side effects.

Thank you for your prayers and your support

Ecclesiastes 1:1-1:3

Ecclesiastes 1:1- 1:3:  "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal....."

I have always thought that there would be a time of healing, that is why I have thanked the Lord for healing me, even though I had no idea when that time would be.  I can't say for sure yet, but that time may be near or may have already happened.  I will have to wait until June to know for sure.  That is when I will have a PET scan.  If there are active tumors, then the scan will glow where the tumors are.....and if there is nothing glowing...then the cancer is gone.

I had a CAT scan this past Thursday and Dr Parapatti said the technician reading my results could not say for sure if the tumor was active, it has not grown and there are no new cancer cells.  She said that it could be nothing but a shell where the tumor was but she could not be sure until I have a PET scan. January a year ago, I had two tumors..a small one that died with chemo and this larger one that has caused my kidney problems and the one that is now in question.  I cannot have surgery to remove the tumors because the larger one is too near my kidney and urethra.  It has something like a "roots"  that have become part of these organs.  It would be best if they were not there because the cancer could come back in the same place at a later time.  I asked Dr Parapatti if tumors ever disappear when they die and she said, "yes, this is what we call a miracle".

My tumor level is down to 4.7 from an 8 last time.  Thank you for your prayers and I ask that the prayer now be that the cancer is gone and that it disappears from all the scans!!!

Thank you, Lord, for healing me.