Psalm 146:5-7

Psalm 146:5-7. "Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all this is in them, who keeps faith forever, who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry."

It has been four months since I had the tube placed in my side to drain the right kidney. It has been a long, hard time and finally it is over. My kidney is draining and the tube was taken out today. Dr Humphrey's had to go back in last Thursday and do another stint replacement because the replacement done two weeks earlier did not help, the stints would not drain. He ordered in 8 different styles of stints and was prepared to try each one until he got it right. He had scheduled several hours for this procedure and was able to find one that worked much sooner that he had thought. He knew right away that this would work because he could see in the x-ray the stints were draining. I had to wait 3 days and then clamp the tube off to find out if it was indeed working and that I did not have any pain.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am. I usually don't complain about what I have to go through but this was different. My right leg ached all the time and even kept me awake at night. The catheter bag is bulky under clothes and very hot. With what I have been through, I have true compassion for anyone that has to wear any type of bag.

Thank you for your prayers.

God is so good!

Thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Hebrews 11:1 and 6

Hebrews 11:1 and 6. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.......And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God, must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

I use the English Standard Version of the Bible now and the above verse came from that translation, but one of my favorites is the Ryrie Study Bible which is the New America Standard. I love it because of the notes that explains the verses. The note on this verse says, "Faith gives reality and proof of things unseen, treating them as if they were already objects of sight rather than of hope." Faith sees before reality confirms. The only way to get to that assurance is to believe that God rewards those who trust in him. The reality is that man may think faith is foolish but God thinks it is precious, he knows that his children know the truth. But don't forget, so does Satan. He knows the truth and will do everything in his power to use deception and lies to attack our faith. Our shield to his lies is to take up the whole armor of God in Ephesians 6:10-17. We must pray daily for this protection.

I was reminded recently of praying daily for myself in Ephesians 6. What a difference it makes! Verse 16 says: "In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one." The truth is that in the battle of life, I am not alone, because verse 1 says: "..be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might."

We hear that cancer is a battle. Could it be that our battle could be defined in Ephesians 6? Verse 11-12: "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

I remember many times that Pastor Darryl said Christians do not take Ephesians 6 seriously. He said that Satan attacks in two ways, either through affliction or deception. The book of Job is all about affliction, and too many Christians are deceived that our Lord could not love us because of our sins.

I have been afflicted through my health, and I believe that my God will deliver me just as he did for Job.

I need your prayers. My stints are not draining. I still have the catheter in my kidney. I had stint replacement two weeks ago and I will again have it done this coming Thursday Aug 12. Dr Humphreys does not know why my stints are not working. He believes they could be kinking once inserted and he is planning on trying another type. He has ordered different styles and will try combinations until he gets the results he wants. Pray for his wisdom during surgery.

I have not seen my oncologist, Dr Parapatti since my last chemo treatment. She wanted to wait until the kidney situation was solved, so I do not have an update.

My prayer has been and continues to be that she will say to me... "Gwen...it is gone. We do not know why, but you are clear." But I will know why and so will you.

Please continue to pray....I don't like the word battle...but that is exactly what it is.

Isaiah 40:31

Isaiah 40:31. "...but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

This past 9 months since my last posting has not been easy. I have found myself discouraged more times that I would like to admit. I gradually stopped doing what I knew in my heart of hearts that I should do: Read my bible consistently, go to church, reach out to other believers, record my thoughts in my blog (I was without a computer until a few months ago but I could have found a way to write), I stopped my good diet and started back into my old ways, I stopped pretending to exercise...I just let myself go, but the Lord did not let me stay this way. He has once again rescued me, and is daily renewing my strength. You see, I never stopped praying, I never stopped my personal relationship with my Lord and Savior...I just...how do I say this...I stopped my urgency in my prayers and I think I was not honest. I felt disappointed. How do you tell the Lord that you are disappointed? Why would I think that He did not already know? I do not know why I continue to have this cancer when I know I have been promised healing. Healing in this life and body, not healing in Heaven. Just look at how David cried out to the Lord for deliverance. He wanted to know why God was taking so long, and where was He is time of need? Psalm 22:1-2. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry day by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest."

I have been honest with the Lord and He can take it. I have not lost my faith but instead feel like I am being led to another level. David knew that the Lord was in Heaven and in control of all things. The Lord answered David, and I trust He will answer me as well.

My last stint replacement a few months ago was not normal. Dr Humphreys said that "something" was pushing against the stints and causing them not to work. He put in a cathether for a month to relieve my right kidney. Tests showed that my right kidney was about 3 times the size of my left kidney, so he took out the foley cathether and put in a neuthropany tube which exits out of my right side, from my kidney, into a cathether bag. I am to wear this until June 17. Please pray that I can have this cathether taken out. It is causing me pain. Not at the site but on my right leg. It aches day and night and causes me to not sleep. I am trying not to take pain killers because I do not want to become addicted to them. It feels like a bad sunburn and is the best way for me to describe the pain. I thought that it might be the bag itself, maybe an allergic reaction to the latex, or the binding elastic straps that held it in place, so I purchased a holder that allows me to insert the bag into the pocket on the leg..but this has not helped either.

Dr Humphreys is not my oncologist, so he did not elaborate on what that "something" was that was causing the stints not to work. I knew what he meant...the tumor had grown. This was confirmed by Dr Parapati last week when she said that my tumor level was at 23.5. The highest that it had been before was 16.5. I have been getting two chemo drugs but I have been taken off one because it is has not helped and is very strong. I am now taking only one drug. I had chemo on Friday. My concern is that she told me that the list of drugs they can give me is getting short. This is the last one that is known to help colin cancer, but I could go on a clinical study. A clinical study is when they use drugs that have not proven effective for a certain cancer but they believe that it could help, more study is needed.

My prayers have intensified. I feel convinced that I must get on a strict diet. I need your prayer support. Please pray that my help comes quickly. Prayer that this cancer has a boundary and cannot go past that boundary, prayer that the tumor dies from the roots up. Prayer that cancer stops in my family with me.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

1 Thessalonians 5:17. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

I have been negectling to write in my blog. There has been so much happening that it would take a long time to put everything down. As to my chemo treatments. I went to the(CTC) Cancer Treatment Center last month. I actually felt better after chemo, whether it was the 3 treatments as opposed to 1, or the addition of the B vitamins and melatonin, I do not know, but I do know that I was not as fatigued as usual. I liked the CTC until I got the bill, which was over 3x more than Mayo for the same thing. I asked for an explanation of the bill, and never got an answer. That really bothered me, as well as some other mishaps but all in all, I like Mayo better. The only thing about CTC that I will miss that I can't get at Mayo is the Naturopathic doctor. I am not unhappy that I tried the CTC, because I have some good information that I did not have before. I plan on asking Dr Parapati if I can get fractionated doses of chemo at Mayo....it is worth a try.

I had to postpone my August chemo by 2 weeks, please pray that this will not cause me to loose the effects of the first chemo and that my CEA level is not high. I have no idea where it is, and this is a concern of mine.

One thing to note....I have lost my hair for the first time. Yup, as bald as an eagle. I joke that I look like Darth Vader when he took off his helmet or I look like a fuzzy newborn baby chick that has little hairs sticking straight up. Either way, it was a bit traumatic at first until I had all my hair shaved off, now I don't mind. Sure makes getting ready in the morning easier. No blow drying the hair etc.... I just plop on the wig, which by the way, is almost exactly like my old hair.

As to what I need now, I need prayer. Prayer that I will not take for granted the promise that I feel the Lord made to me about my healing. I know his promise was real but I have become so busy that I forget to pray as I should. I am not sticking to a good diet and have slipped back into my old ways little by little. This is bad for anyone but especially bad for anyone with cancer. Please pray that I will honor the body that has been given to me and will treat it with respect. Please pray that this next round of chemo will once and for all, bring me healing. Please pray that my next stint exchange on Sept 11, will go well and that I tolerate the anesthesia with no problem. Please pray for energy and a clear mind so that I can be efficient in my job.

Thank you for your prayers and thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Psalm 62:5-7

Psalm 62:5-7. "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God."

With God all things are possible. Even though I am beginning chemo again tomorrow, I have no fear because my Lord is with me. I am never alone and my circumstance does not cause me to loose hope.

I am now a patient at the Cancer Treatment Center of America. It was hard to leave Mayo, especially Dr Parapatti but she has graciously said that I could go back anytime. That was such a blessing because I really like her, but she understood that I need to make changes while I still have the option. She has said that chemo will only work for a period of time, then it stops being effective. My naturopathic doctor, Shauna, has already placed me on Melatonin and B6 + B Complex. The Melatonin increases blood factors related to inhibition of tumor growth plus other benefits and the B6 helps prevent peripheral neuropathy (numbness and tingling) which is one of the side effects of the chemo drug that I will be getting. It also helps with fatigue which is also a big side effect. My nutritionist, Barbara, has placed me on a diet higher in protein than I had been doing, but she loved that I had switched to a plant-based diet already.

My chemo drugs will be the same that Mayo used but it will be given in fractured doses over 3 days instead of one. Supposedly, giving smaller doses increases the benefits of killing more cancer cells plus lessens the severity of the side effects. This is already more than Mayo has done, but still within the traditional medicine approach that they use.

I will be at the CTC starting tomorrow, Wednesday thru Friday. I will have the chemo then go to work from 2p-6p. Please pray that I will have the energy necessary to do my job.

Thank you for your prayers. I can't wait to let you know how this goes

Psalm 46:10

Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God"

My appointment at the Cancer Treatment Center of America was above my expectations. I feel that this is what I have been praying for and that God is surely in that place. I spent the morning answering questions, verifying my personal information, meeting with my case manager, having blood work drawn, and finally meeting my new oncologist. In the beginning, I was under whelmed by him. His name is Dr S. Frederick Brunk, who is somewhere in his 70's, and speaks very softly. He is slim and looks as though he has been eating well all his life. With his white beard, he reminded me of a slim Santa Claus. After a round of note taking in which I realized that he was very familiar with my health care so far, he had me put on a robe so that he could listen to my heart etc. He had a sweet lady come in while he was doing this procedure, who turned out to be his wife ,Mary. Then he used his stethoscope and a small rubber hammer that most of us have had doctors whack our knees for reflex, and began to gently tap me all over my back, then he had me lie down and off he went tapping on my stomach and around right area where my tumors are, and using a ballpoint pen to mark off something on my stomach. I looked at Mary and said, "what is he doing?" When he finished tapping, he said that he was listening for the tumors. What did he say? Listening for the tumors? After he left the room so I could get dressed, Mary explained that Dr Brunk has perfected a procedure over many years in which he uses percussion to give a better physical diagnosis of a patients health. He has written a paper which has received acclaim from his peers that was published in the International Journal of Clinical Practice. Mary asked if I would like a copy of the paper,and I jumped at the chance. After reading it, it makes perfect sense. I certainly don't understand the medical terms but I get the jest of it. He says that he can better understand what is going on using this technique and finds this is better than most scans. He has ordered another CAT scan for tomorrow because he told me after he came back into the room that he has a suspicion that the uptake in my CEA level is not from the two tumors near my urthuer but rather from two spots in my lungs that Mayo has told me are not active. Is this not interesting? We will find out if the tapping is accurate, but at any rate, I am intrigued.

So, I went from "under whelmed" to "in awe" in a manner of minutes, so it may be Christmas after all Virginia, and Dr Brunk could be my Santa Claus.

After meeting tomorrow with the teams in naturopathic, nutrition, and spiritual wellness, I will then have my CAT scan, and sometime early next week, I will get the results and a plan of action will begin.

Thank you for your prayers. Isn't it wonderful when we pray the God has a way of answering our prayers in a way that is far more than we can ask or think?

I can't forget to tell you about what Mary said. When I was dressing, we were talking like old friends and she said something about spiritual wellness. I remarked that this, thankfully, was not a problem of mine, and she said, "Oh Gwen, I know that. When I first saw you, I knew that you had the joy of the Lord on your face. Is that not the best? We hugged and I felt the arms of the Lord around me. From Him, to Mary, to me. What a blessing!

Ephesians 4:20

Ephesians 4:20. "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,"

When the hand of God moves, it is with precision. All of the pieces of the puzzle start to fit together. When we pray, we ask for what we think we need, but then, by praying as we should for his will and not ours, we open up the abundance that the verse in Ephesians speaks about. God's power is in each of us who call upon the name of Jesus as our Lord. It is his Holy Spirit that dwells in us and prays for us. This is explained in Romans 8:26-28. "Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

How wonderful....all things work together for good.

Since my last post, I have continued to pray for God's will in my life and in my cancer. I said before that I believed nutrition and diet was the key. I started "googling" diet and cancer and found some old as well as new information. Some I immediately put aside as false, some I liked....but in my search I came across something that I had forgotten. The Cancer Center of America recently opened a campus in the Phoenix area. Their website is full of useful information. They have traditional cancer treatments the same as Mayo which is surgery, chemo, radiation but they go further and have natural programs focusing on nutrition, exercise, and much more. I was struck by the words of Dr Parapatti the last time we spoke. She said that since my CEA level had gone up so fast, the we were looking at chemo again, and that I could start now or wait a month....and then she left it up to me. This reminded me of my first oncologist, who did not have a plan but would ask me what I wanted to do. Dr Parapatti is not like him, but I felt the question to be one in the same. I remembered when she told me that we would use chemo sparingly because chemo will not work after awhile. I do not want to wait until I have no choice...I believe I have a choice now, and I have an appointment with the Cancer Center of Thursday July 9 for an evaluation. Good news is that my insurance will cover me if I change from Mayo to the Cancer Center. I can hardly believe that I might make this change. Mayo has been wonderful, but I am cognizant of the fact that they are only traditional medicine and I believe I am being lead to try something different. Please do not think that I am grabbing for straws and seeking strange cures.....I am not....this is different and I will let you know what I decide.

I appreciate all you prayers and phone calls. I am doing well and actually have not felt this good in years!!!