John 16:32

John 16:32. ".....Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me."

I had surgery today to replace the stint in my urethera.  The urologist replaced the stint with a metal one that will not need replacement for a year.  The one that I had needed replacement every 4-6 months, so this is much better.  It is also better because the tumor is pushing against this area, and the old plastic one stood the chance of being pushed in and not allow the kidney to transport the toxins out of my body.  With upcoming chemo, this is very important.

This is my 3rd stint and the procedure is becoming routine for me.  I could not drive myself so I had a ride there and back home ,but no one was at the hospital while I was having this procedure.  I want to share a comforting thing that happened while I was alone in my room, waiting to go into surgery.  I was prepped and ready.  My door was open and I could see the hallway.  I saw a woman being escorted to surgery and behind her walked her aging husband, who was going with her as far as he could.  I began to have feelings of sadness at being alone, and it was at that time I shared how I was feeling with the Lord.  I know that he knows all this but I needed to pray about it.  As I was praying and talking to God about how I felt, instantly, I felt this "electric" feeling of light cover my body.   This has happened to me before, and I know it is the Lord.  During this time, all feelings of despair and sorrow vanished.  I know that my room was alive with his spirit.  I do not cry easily or often about my health.  But what does bring me to tears is someone saying they are praying for me and times such as this when I know that I not alone.  Well...my eyes teared up and I wanted to let go and let it all out in the beauty of what I had just felt. Then I realized that if the doctors or nursing staff came in and saw me bawling my eyes out, they they would rightly assume that I was very upset about surgery. Then I saw the humor in my ridiculous behavior and had a good laugh at myself while wiping away my tears of joy.

We are not alone, ever.  No manner the circumstance.  God is with us.  I have a relationship with the Lord and I talk with him throughout the day .  I have times of "formal" prayer but mostly I just talk to him all day.  I cannot imagine going through this cancer without him.  I can only imagine, with heartfelt sympathy, what the thoughts are of those who have not accepted Jesus as their saviour.  He promised before his crucification that when he left this earth, that he would send a helper to those who believe, which is the Holy Spirit.  "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" (I Cornthians 3:16) 

Accept Jesus as your savior and you will never be alone.

Ephesians 6:16

Ephesians 6:16.  "In all circumstances, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one."

This verse is very important to every Christian because we are reminded that in ALL circumstances, faith will get us through.  The question is, faith in what?  Verse 10 says, "..be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might."  Again, it is not our strength that gets us through tough times, it is our complete dependance on the Lord. We all need to remember, but not be afraid of verse 11, "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." 

This last verse can be confusing but it is there to let us know that there are forces that are against us, which is the opposite of God who is for us.  Evil exists and it hates us the opposite of how God loves us. Evil wants us to deny God.  It masks itself so that we blame God and are mad at him when it was not his doing.  What in the world was that last sentence about?

Read for yourself Job 1:6-12.  This verse is the reason for the book of Job which has been called the most depressing book in the bible.  We are told that Satan was before the throne of God (yes, he was then and is today) God ALLOWS Satan to test Job, but God is not the one who does the evil.  Job looses everything but his life.  Even his "friends" say to curse God and die.  Job was tempted but in the end praises God.  The last paragraph in this book says that in the end the Lord restores Job's fortune and his health, and "Job died, an old man, and full of days".

I know that God did not give me cancer, but he has allowed it.  Am I upset or mad at God for this?  May it never be so!  Cancer has brought he even closer to him.  We were made so that we can love him.  Heaven will be, well... heaven, because we are with the one who loves us dearly and the way we go through life here on earth will bless us when we see him face to face.  Our reward for our trials.  I do not want to be one who deserts the only one that will give me relief.

Back to Ephesians 6.  My pastor of 20 years would refer to this passage as the "most misunderstood" passage in the bible.  There really are "spiritual forces of evil" but there are also angels who's jobs are to minister to us.  The whole point of what I am saying today is what my pastor said about Ephesians 6 and it is this:  Satan attacks us in two ways:  Affliction and/or deception.  If we do not know what God says, do not read the bible, do not pray, Satan can easily deceive us.  He is also the one who can cause affliction, in other words, can afflict our health.  This is why I know without a doubt, my cancer is not from God, it is from Satan.  Think about cancer.  It hides in the dark and grows without our being aware of it, until for many, it is too late.  It is death. It is fear.  Just as cancer is death, so is Satan.  He does not want anyone to believe God.  Verse 13-17 tells us how to resist Satan.

One last thing.  I had a hard time understanding "spiritual forces" and could not get a handle on what was being said until I read a Christian fiction book by Frank Peretti called "This Present Darkness".  I suggest this book.  See for yourself, but read it as fiction, using the Bible as the foundation for truth. 

Nehemiah 8:10

Nehemiah 8:10  ".....the joy of the Lord is your strength."

"The joy of the Lord is your strength"......how wise.  Wisdom comes from knowing where our strength comes from.  Instead of being dependent on ourselves we need to put our trust in someone other than ourself. Our trust cannot be in our bank accounts, our beauty, talent or even our spouse.  "The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation....", (Exodus 15:2.)  He is my song.  When I sing, I am joyful.  I do not have a care in the world when I have a song in my heart.  When I sing, I put my anxious thoughts away.  How this must please the Lord! I for one need to remember this when I let everyday worries into my thoughts.  

Once again I am reminded of all this in Matthew 6:31-34.  "Therefore, do not be anxious, saying, "What shall we drink?' or what shall we wear?' ....and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom  of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day it its own trouble."

In our economy and the fear that comes with falling housing prices, increased living expenses, the threat of the loss of  our jobs, war and the uncertainty of our country and the world, now more that ever, we need a clear prospective about the Lord and his kingdom. Seek him first.  Turn all your anxiety upon him, and then trust that he will put a song into your heart.  Joy in the mist of troubles.

I have only shared my thoughts on my cancer, but there are other areas of my life that I have been praying for, one being where I live.  In January of 2007, I had planned on buying a home but all that came to a standstill when I was admitted to the emergency room with what I thought was stomach flu, but was really cancer of the colin.  Instead of looking for a house, I needed to find a place to live for what I thought was 6 months until I made a recovery of my health.  Those 6 months has turned into a year and a half.  I have been thankful for this space, but it is not my home.  I started looking for a home to buy this year, but obstacles of every kind seemed to have been put in my way.  I could not understand how I could loose out to someone else each time a contract was submitted. I finally set a goal of moving out by this Nov 1, even if it would be a rental house.  Why do I mention this, and what does it have to do with the Lord? The answer is everything.  The answer is that the Lord had something better in mind.  The answer is that he is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20)

In this housing market, God lead me to call on an add in the paper. It lead me to a man by the name of Albert and his wife Esther.  A man who loves the Lord.  Albert is 80 and has owned many of the homes on his block.  This is the last home to sell, and he wants to get his estate in order for his son.  Albert reminds me of my dad.  Honest and old fashioned and he does business the way it was done years ago when your word was your bond. I have prayed that God would lead me to someone who was praying for their house to sell, just as I was praying for a house to buy.  Albert and I are working out the details and I trust that all this is from the Lord.  It reminds me of the many times that I have wanted to go to MY plan B, C, or D....but God says, "wait a minute, look at my Plan A."  He is never late to answer and always on time.

I believe that God brought Albert into my life and that he is doing what a real estate agent and mortgage consultant could not accomplish.  I believe that he is into all the details of my life.  I believe that he is my physician and healer and that I have nothing to fear or be anxious about.  What a blessing! 

I am scheduled for the following appointments:

Oct 16     Surgery for a stint replacement (This is my 3rd...stints need replacement every 4-6                       months)

Oct 20     Cardiology appointment with Dr Mookadam regarding the fluid around my heart

Nov 18     CAT scan

                  Oncology appointment with Dr Paripati which will determine if or when I begin                             chemo

I am beginning to talk about this cancer as "this pesky cancer".  I am hopeful that the Lord will heal me soon so that I can get on with more important things such as decorating my new home.  Not really, this is not the most important thing, just a thing of joy for me.  The "most important thing" is my witness to God's strength in our times of need and in our everyday life.  He has blessed me with a way through this cancer and will help anyone who asks for help..no manner the request.

Thank you for your support and especially your prayers!