1 Thessalonians 5:17

1 Thessalonians 5:17. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

I have been negectling to write in my blog. There has been so much happening that it would take a long time to put everything down. As to my chemo treatments. I went to the(CTC) Cancer Treatment Center last month. I actually felt better after chemo, whether it was the 3 treatments as opposed to 1, or the addition of the B vitamins and melatonin, I do not know, but I do know that I was not as fatigued as usual. I liked the CTC until I got the bill, which was over 3x more than Mayo for the same thing. I asked for an explanation of the bill, and never got an answer. That really bothered me, as well as some other mishaps but all in all, I like Mayo better. The only thing about CTC that I will miss that I can't get at Mayo is the Naturopathic doctor. I am not unhappy that I tried the CTC, because I have some good information that I did not have before. I plan on asking Dr Parapati if I can get fractionated doses of chemo at Mayo....it is worth a try.

I had to postpone my August chemo by 2 weeks, please pray that this will not cause me to loose the effects of the first chemo and that my CEA level is not high. I have no idea where it is, and this is a concern of mine.

One thing to note....I have lost my hair for the first time. Yup, as bald as an eagle. I joke that I look like Darth Vader when he took off his helmet or I look like a fuzzy newborn baby chick that has little hairs sticking straight up. Either way, it was a bit traumatic at first until I had all my hair shaved off, now I don't mind. Sure makes getting ready in the morning easier. No blow drying the hair etc.... I just plop on the wig, which by the way, is almost exactly like my old hair.

As to what I need now, I need prayer. Prayer that I will not take for granted the promise that I feel the Lord made to me about my healing. I know his promise was real but I have become so busy that I forget to pray as I should. I am not sticking to a good diet and have slipped back into my old ways little by little. This is bad for anyone but especially bad for anyone with cancer. Please pray that I will honor the body that has been given to me and will treat it with respect. Please pray that this next round of chemo will once and for all, bring me healing. Please pray that my next stint exchange on Sept 11, will go well and that I tolerate the anesthesia with no problem. Please pray for energy and a clear mind so that I can be efficient in my job.

Thank you for your prayers and thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Psalm 62:5-7

Psalm 62:5-7. "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God."

With God all things are possible. Even though I am beginning chemo again tomorrow, I have no fear because my Lord is with me. I am never alone and my circumstance does not cause me to loose hope.

I am now a patient at the Cancer Treatment Center of America. It was hard to leave Mayo, especially Dr Parapatti but she has graciously said that I could go back anytime. That was such a blessing because I really like her, but she understood that I need to make changes while I still have the option. She has said that chemo will only work for a period of time, then it stops being effective. My naturopathic doctor, Shauna, has already placed me on Melatonin and B6 + B Complex. The Melatonin increases blood factors related to inhibition of tumor growth plus other benefits and the B6 helps prevent peripheral neuropathy (numbness and tingling) which is one of the side effects of the chemo drug that I will be getting. It also helps with fatigue which is also a big side effect. My nutritionist, Barbara, has placed me on a diet higher in protein than I had been doing, but she loved that I had switched to a plant-based diet already.

My chemo drugs will be the same that Mayo used but it will be given in fractured doses over 3 days instead of one. Supposedly, giving smaller doses increases the benefits of killing more cancer cells plus lessens the severity of the side effects. This is already more than Mayo has done, but still within the traditional medicine approach that they use.

I will be at the CTC starting tomorrow, Wednesday thru Friday. I will have the chemo then go to work from 2p-6p. Please pray that I will have the energy necessary to do my job.

Thank you for your prayers. I can't wait to let you know how this goes

Psalm 46:10

Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God"

My appointment at the Cancer Treatment Center of America was above my expectations. I feel that this is what I have been praying for and that God is surely in that place. I spent the morning answering questions, verifying my personal information, meeting with my case manager, having blood work drawn, and finally meeting my new oncologist. In the beginning, I was under whelmed by him. His name is Dr S. Frederick Brunk, who is somewhere in his 70's, and speaks very softly. He is slim and looks as though he has been eating well all his life. With his white beard, he reminded me of a slim Santa Claus. After a round of note taking in which I realized that he was very familiar with my health care so far, he had me put on a robe so that he could listen to my heart etc. He had a sweet lady come in while he was doing this procedure, who turned out to be his wife ,Mary. Then he used his stethoscope and a small rubber hammer that most of us have had doctors whack our knees for reflex, and began to gently tap me all over my back, then he had me lie down and off he went tapping on my stomach and around right area where my tumors are, and using a ballpoint pen to mark off something on my stomach. I looked at Mary and said, "what is he doing?" When he finished tapping, he said that he was listening for the tumors. What did he say? Listening for the tumors? After he left the room so I could get dressed, Mary explained that Dr Brunk has perfected a procedure over many years in which he uses percussion to give a better physical diagnosis of a patients health. He has written a paper which has received acclaim from his peers that was published in the International Journal of Clinical Practice. Mary asked if I would like a copy of the paper,and I jumped at the chance. After reading it, it makes perfect sense. I certainly don't understand the medical terms but I get the jest of it. He says that he can better understand what is going on using this technique and finds this is better than most scans. He has ordered another CAT scan for tomorrow because he told me after he came back into the room that he has a suspicion that the uptake in my CEA level is not from the two tumors near my urthuer but rather from two spots in my lungs that Mayo has told me are not active. Is this not interesting? We will find out if the tapping is accurate, but at any rate, I am intrigued.

So, I went from "under whelmed" to "in awe" in a manner of minutes, so it may be Christmas after all Virginia, and Dr Brunk could be my Santa Claus.

After meeting tomorrow with the teams in naturopathic, nutrition, and spiritual wellness, I will then have my CAT scan, and sometime early next week, I will get the results and a plan of action will begin.

Thank you for your prayers. Isn't it wonderful when we pray the God has a way of answering our prayers in a way that is far more than we can ask or think?

I can't forget to tell you about what Mary said. When I was dressing, we were talking like old friends and she said something about spiritual wellness. I remarked that this, thankfully, was not a problem of mine, and she said, "Oh Gwen, I know that. When I first saw you, I knew that you had the joy of the Lord on your face. Is that not the best? We hugged and I felt the arms of the Lord around me. From Him, to Mary, to me. What a blessing!

Ephesians 4:20

Ephesians 4:20. "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,"

When the hand of God moves, it is with precision. All of the pieces of the puzzle start to fit together. When we pray, we ask for what we think we need, but then, by praying as we should for his will and not ours, we open up the abundance that the verse in Ephesians speaks about. God's power is in each of us who call upon the name of Jesus as our Lord. It is his Holy Spirit that dwells in us and prays for us. This is explained in Romans 8:26-28. "Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

How wonderful....all things work together for good.

Since my last post, I have continued to pray for God's will in my life and in my cancer. I said before that I believed nutrition and diet was the key. I started "googling" diet and cancer and found some old as well as new information. Some I immediately put aside as false, some I liked....but in my search I came across something that I had forgotten. The Cancer Center of America recently opened a campus in the Phoenix area. Their website is full of useful information. They have traditional cancer treatments the same as Mayo which is surgery, chemo, radiation but they go further and have natural programs focusing on nutrition, exercise, and much more. I was struck by the words of Dr Parapatti the last time we spoke. She said that since my CEA level had gone up so fast, the we were looking at chemo again, and that I could start now or wait a month....and then she left it up to me. This reminded me of my first oncologist, who did not have a plan but would ask me what I wanted to do. Dr Parapatti is not like him, but I felt the question to be one in the same. I remembered when she told me that we would use chemo sparingly because chemo will not work after awhile. I do not want to wait until I have no choice...I believe I have a choice now, and I have an appointment with the Cancer Center of Thursday July 9 for an evaluation. Good news is that my insurance will cover me if I change from Mayo to the Cancer Center. I can hardly believe that I might make this change. Mayo has been wonderful, but I am cognizant of the fact that they are only traditional medicine and I believe I am being lead to try something different. Please do not think that I am grabbing for straws and seeking strange cures.....I am not....this is different and I will let you know what I decide.

I appreciate all you prayers and phone calls. I am doing well and actually have not felt this good in years!!!

Psalm 119:105

Psalm 119:105. "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

Sometimes we do not get the message that we had hoped for. I had hoped that my cancer was gone but it is not. Good news is that is has not spread. Bad news is that after chemo my tumor level had dropped from 4.7 to 3.7 last month to 9.9 yesterday. What caused this? I don't know but I am thinking that I have allowed my diet to get worse and that I need to be aware of what foods to avoid and what foods to eat. I know that I have allowed sugar back into my diet and I also know from doing research today that cancer cannot survive in an alkaline environment. That translates into what I have known but was getting away from...eating a plant based diet. Not as radical as it sounds but when you have cancer, some foods are toxic to you that would not harm someone without cancer. Please pray that by eating the right foods, my CEA level does not increase, but even decreases. If it does, then I know that I am on the right path.

Dr Parapatti said that we could start chemo again or wait for a month to see what happens. I asked her if we could recheck the tumor level (the CEA level) in two weeks and she agreed. I will let you know if anything changes.

Psalm 23:1-2

Psalm 23:1-2  "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters."

I love this psalm and it has become one of my favorites.  It is comforting, as well as awe inspiring, to know that the Lord of the universe is watching over me.  Me!  And not only me, but everyone who believes in the name of Jesus.  I shall not want for any good thing.  He has given it all.  I am made to lie down in green pastures even though my health is enough to make me be consumed with worry.  I sometimes forget this and begin to worry, and when it happens, God always brings me back and gives me his peace.  He leads me beside still waters!  Not a storm ridden sea that could cause me to drown, but still water!  What a God we have!

It has been a long time since I had my stint replacement and I have not written to let everyone know that it went perfect.  Just perfect!  No problems with surgery or recovery.  Just perfect.  I know that it was an answer to prayer!

My next appointment is in a few weeks, June 17, when I have the PET scan.  This is the scan that I have been waiting for and will tell us if the cancer is still active.  The tumors will "light up" if they are still there.  I cannot worry about this test, it is in God's hands.  I believe this is what I have been waiting for, a clear scan.  I believe that I will be healed, and I ask for this in prayer. 

Please pray for me.

Psalm 46:10

Psalm 46:10. "Be still ,and know that I am God."

Be still, do not worry, I know what you need before you ask. We know this, but sometimes we forget this great promise. I am not anxious, but I do remember the last stint exchange in January. It did not go well for me. Delays caused me to be in surgery late, around 6pm and I did not get out of the hospital until almost 10pm that night. The anesthesia did not go well, and I was very uncomfortable.

Per my request, I have the first schedule tomorrow morning. I am to report to the hospital at 6am and surgery scheduled for 7:30 am. This is good. Please pray that the anesthesia goes well and I do not feel any side effects.

Thank you for your prayers and your support

Ecclesiastes 1:1-1:3

Ecclesiastes 1:1- 1:3:  "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal....."

I have always thought that there would be a time of healing, that is why I have thanked the Lord for healing me, even though I had no idea when that time would be.  I can't say for sure yet, but that time may be near or may have already happened.  I will have to wait until June to know for sure.  That is when I will have a PET scan.  If there are active tumors, then the scan will glow where the tumors are.....and if there is nothing glowing...then the cancer is gone.

I had a CAT scan this past Thursday and Dr Parapatti said the technician reading my results could not say for sure if the tumor was active, it has not grown and there are no new cancer cells.  She said that it could be nothing but a shell where the tumor was but she could not be sure until I have a PET scan. January a year ago, I had two tumors..a small one that died with chemo and this larger one that has caused my kidney problems and the one that is now in question.  I cannot have surgery to remove the tumors because the larger one is too near my kidney and urethra.  It has something like a "roots"  that have become part of these organs.  It would be best if they were not there because the cancer could come back in the same place at a later time.  I asked Dr Parapatti if tumors ever disappear when they die and she said, "yes, this is what we call a miracle".

My tumor level is down to 4.7 from an 8 last time.  Thank you for your prayers and I ask that the prayer now be that the cancer is gone and that it disappears from all the scans!!!

Thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Isaiah 41:10

Isaiah 41:10.  "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Update.  I saw Dr. Parapati today in preparation for my chemo treatment tomorrow.  She was VERY encouraged by my tumor level. It is steadily going down.  Just look at the results:

Dec    16.7

Jan    15.9

Feb    12.7

Mar     8.0

My goal for next time is 3.5 (or lower) Please pray for this result!

As I have shared before.  Even someone without cancer can have a tumor level around a 3.  I hope to get below a 2 and with the Lord's help, I will. 

What can I say?  I am very encouraged and feel that I am seeing the result of answered prayer.  God is so good!  

After this next chemo infusion, Dr. Parapati is ordering another CAT scan and she hopes to give me a break this next month with NO chemo.  That would be wonderful!

Please pray that I continue to respond to chemo and that my side effects are few.  I have had a dramatic loss of appetite after chemo and severe diarrhea, so I ask for your prayers to get me through again. My chemo treatment starts at 1:00pm and lasts for about 5 hours. Thank you for your prayers.  It makes a difficult time bearable to know that I am being lifted up in prayer before the very throne of God.  May He richly bless you as He does me during this time!

Isaiah 58:8-9

Isaiah 58:8-9. "Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say,"Here I am."

I love the beginning of this verse which says, "Your healing shall spring up speedily". When the Lord answers a prayer, everything just falls into place. Maybe you have been praying for something for a long time, but when the answer comes, it will be with speed. I have been praying for healing and claiming that healing for over two years now, and I can see it as if it has already happened. The Lord has been guarding me all this time. I know it for sure.

I am into day 13 of my 2nd chemo treatment. I know now that I start feeling "normal" at around day 11 or so. I know that a big part of chemo for me will be the diarrhea, but that is fine with me, because I feel that the chemo drug has to get out of my system some way, and I would rather it be this way than with nausea and what comes with nausea. Ugh!

I am looking forward to my next visit with Dr Parapati, which is next week, so that I can find out what my tumor level is now. I pray that it has dropped lower than last time, and even to normal!

Thank you for your prayers. You are helping me through a tough time and making a big difference in how I am responding to the drugs.

Exodus 15:2

Exodus 15:2. "The Lord is my strength and my song...."

I saw my oncologist, Dr Parapati, yesterday in prepration for my next chemo infusion tomorrow (Friday Feb 20th). It was a very good visit. My tumor leval has dropped 3.2 points in 3 weeks!! I am now at around a 12, normal for anyone with or without cancer is below a 3. She was very encouraging with the results and might repeat the CAT scan after this infusion or the next. If my tumor leval continues to drop at this pace, I may get a break from treatments. As long as the treatments are effective, then they will not push my body to accept more chemo than necessary. I told Dr Parapati that I was looking forward to the day when she was smiling ear to ear and telling me that the cancer was gone. She agreed that that would be wonderful and I told her how blessed I was to have so many people praying for me and that I believed that one day I would be cancer free. And I do believe that.

Since I know how strong this chemo is then I know what to ask for in prayer. I ask that I do not have diarrea or headaches, and that I am able to eat to keep up my strength. I also need to drink as much water as I can to flush out the posion in my body. I also had a sensitivity to cold in my throat which made drinking the water uncomfortable. Knowing that one treatment made a big difference, then I ask that this next treatment be even more beneficial and even drop my tumor leval to normal. I also ask that I am able to go to work each morning and I thank the Lord that I have been given such a wonderful job with great benefits.

Thank you for your prayers. May the Lord bless each of you and keep you under his wing.

Ephesians 6:16

Ephesians 6:16. "In all circumstances take up the shield of faith,with which you can estinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one...."

This has been a long and sometimes difficult time since the chemo. I was told to expect to feel bad the first week, better the 2nd week and good the 3rd week. I am in the 2nd week now and am feeling better. It is hard to describe chemo and how you feel but mostly it is just yuck. That may not be a good description but YUCK it is. It is hard to think, and spiritually, very hard to pray. The reason I chose the verse today is that satan will use everything he has to get you to feel lost. I know when I am being attacked usually as I am coming out of it. I cannot read the bible nor can I pray. I just sleep and start to feel depressed. Chemo made me not want to eat (imagine that!) my stomach felt very queasy, and I just had an over-all feeling of opression. This is why I need your prayers because sometimes I cannot do it for myself. Thank you for going this journey with me. I will come out on the other side, and I give God all the glory for not letting me go it by myself.

Psalm 28:7

Psalm 28:7. "The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him."

I had chemo on Friday and a shot on Saturday to boost my white blood count. Today is Monday and I am feeling a little queasy with a slight headache. Overall, I feel good, but strange, I am having trouble praying. Please pray for me that I do not become weary of my situation. I feel that my inability to pray has something to do with all the chemicals in my body. I just don't feel right. I can't wait to go home (I am at work now) and sleep. If this is the "bad" part of the first week, I really have no complaints.

Thank you for your prayers.

I Chronicles 16:11

I Chronicles 16:11. "Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually."

I saw Dr. Humhrey"s, my urologist, yesterday and was given the approval that the kidney catheter could be taken out. Before the removal, a technician injected dye into the tube with the perfect result of the dye exiting from the kidney to the bladder. This also means that the stints are working. Now the next step is chemo. Dr Parapati has scheduled chemo to start next Friday, Jan 30 at 1:00pm. I will get two types of chemo and it will take about 4 to 5 hours for the infusions. On Saturday, I will need to go to the hospital and have an injection. I do not have the names of the chemo/shot but I will put this info in when I get it. I will go every 3 weeks. She said that typically, I should feel bad the 1st week, better the 2nd week, and good the 3rd week. My prayer is that I am NOT typical and that I feel good all 3 weeks!!!! Please pray for this, because I will need to go to work. Even though I work 4 hours (8a-12n) it is still hard to get up and function when not feeling well. I tollerated the last chemo very well, so I have no reason to believe that this prayer will not be answered. I know that last time, with prayer, I looked forward to chemo and was not afraid. I believe that chemo brings life because it kills the tumor. Since I now have to healthy kidneys to filter out the drugs, I look forward to the results!

Each 3 weeks is a cycle and I will have two cycles and the CAT scan will be repeated. Please pray that the tumor is gone/smaller and that my tumor level is down.

I told Dr. Parapati a few weeks ago that I was anxious to start chemo because I plan to have a great 2009. She looked at me with a rather sweet look but I know from where she stands, this is not what she would predict for me. She has told me that I cannot be cured, but my prayer is that with only a few rounds of chemo, I am indeed cured. I would rather boast that the Lord healed me than medicine and the best doctors. I want to be that miracle. (Thank you Lord, for healing me.)

James 1:2

James 1:2. "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."

Christians will talk about trials, usually in general terms that can be hard to understand. I feel as though I have been through a trial and the result was that my faith was tested. I will try to explain as best I can what I am talking about. I have not written in this blog since Nov. 20th but it was not because I did not have anything to write about, I had plenty, but for some reason I did not want to talk about it. I think I had become weary of explaining about my health. It has been two years this January that this very long journey started for me. Most of my conversation with others was about me because all of you are wonderful to ask. I think I just got tired of always taking about my health. I appreciated all the phone calls and I would never be rude and not answer a question. I have never felt that what I am going through is private. God has never let me down and I wanted everyone to know this, but for some reason, I backed out for awhile. Was it good for me to do that? Absolutely not! But it did confirm that this blog is the best thing that I have ever done for myself. I need to explain what is happening to me. I need you to know. I need your prayers. Will I be faithful and continue to write. Pray for me that I do.

So, what has been going on? I wrote last time that the CAT scan showed my kidney was 4x the size that it should have been and that I was on antibiotics and feeling better. Well, testing showed that the kidney was not responding so they put in a catheter, which did not work, so on Nov 29 my doctor inserted a drainage tube directly into my kidney and I wore a bag to collect the urine. The procedure did not go well because the infection entered by bloodstream and caused a severe reaction. I had to spend a night in the hospital for observation. My urologist thought the problem with the kidney backup could have been the metal stint that was inserted in early Nov. So, on Jan 7 , I had a stint replacement as well as a kidney tube replacement. Again, I should have asked for prayer because I had a very long wait for surgery and did not get in until 6:00 pm that night. I had gone 18 hours without water and 22 hours without food because you are instructed to not have anything to eat/drink after midnight the day of surgery. I don't know for sure if the long wait was responsible, but I had some complications with the anesthesia that I have never had before. Long story short, I have learned through this trial that I need prayer and I should always keep asking.

That was the bad part, now for the good part. I had another CAT scan yesterday and saw Dr Parapati today. My tumor level is down slightly, still around 15 but last time it was over 16 and the scan showed the tumors to be the same size..nothing new. She was very encouraging and I have been thanking God all day. I feel like He answered my prayer. I have been praying that the tumor level would go down and that the tumors would stay within the boundaries that have already been set. And they have. I have also been asking that He heal me completely but all this is to His glory and it is His decision. I will have an x-ray of the kidney this Thursday, Jan 22, and if all is well, the tube will be removed. It is caped off now and the kidney seems to be working fine, so please pray that it can come out.

If the kidney is OK, then I will start chemo soon, possibly on the Jan. 30th.

All of you are so very kind to me, a thank you is not enough, but it is the best I can offer. You will never know how much your prayers mean to me!