I am so thankful to my Lord for being my stronghold. He is my strength. I have friends ask me all the time how I do it. How do I stand in the face of this oppression called cancer. Well, the answer is easy. It is not my strength but the Lord's. Isaiah 40:28-31 says it perfectly for me "....the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. (Now pay attention...this is it!!!) He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
I love the word picture of "mounting up with wings like eagles". Can you imagine what your problems would look like if you could soar above them like an eagle? What we see as big and insurmountable up close can actually look like a small piece of the puzzle from afar. All we need is a new perspective. We need the Lord because he is the one who renews our strength and then we can" run and not be weary and walk and not faint".
I feel like I have been running this past year . I have been working full time but beginning to having a hard time taking care of myself. Life got a little harder back in May when my right kidney became inflamed. About this time, my chemo dosage was strengthened when it was discovered that I was not getting a full dose. I have never had a problem with chemo that a few days rest would not cure, but this time was different. It really drained me and I lost my hair again. My body seemed to be in a lot of stress and not getting better. My stints were not draining and chemo was put on hold until my kidney started functioning better. I had a tube inserted in my side to drain the kidney. What should have been one month of the tube in my kidney turned into over 4 months. Just after the tube came out, I was in the emergency room on Labor Day weekend with severe pain in my right side. What I assumed to be the kidney acting up again turned out to be a blocked intestine from scar tissue that happened when I had surgery 4 years ago. I was in the hospital 4 days but back again 2 days later with the same problem. Surgery was considered but, thankfully, the intestine cleared again and I was told to eat soft foods for at least 10 days so the intestine could heal. For those of you who know I prefer a high-fiber- no sugar diet this was and continues to be hard. I have warning signs every so often that I need to be careful but at least I know what to do now. After the 2nd time returning home from the hospital, I became concerned that I needed more time to heal . I made an appointment with my oncologist, Dr Parapati and we again discussed chemo. She had wanted me to have chemo weekly but I had nixed that idea in May because it would have been difficult to miss one day of work a week for chemo then the possibility of not feeling good the other days. All this being said, we decided the best option for me would be to take FMLA leave and concentrate on getting well. This is what I am doing now. I am not working but am taking chemo every Wednesday. The schedule will have me taking chemo for 4 weeks then off 2 weeks. I have been told that the side-effects are cumulative and will increase each week. I already know that I am tired most of the time and I am never far away from taking a nap. I am not bored, and have so much to do. My newest grandson, Judah, was born on September 20 and is doing well. Britain is now 2 and such a joy!!! I feel blessed to have the time to take care of myself and look forward to a complete healing.
I want to thank each of you for your prayers. You are such a blessing to me.
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